i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize