It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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