He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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