i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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