Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
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As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
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And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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