Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(276): View more from Virginia

Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.

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(627): View more from California

his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.

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(712): View more from Iowa

Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things

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(201): View more from New Jersey

New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole

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(740): View more from Ohio

Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself

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(919): View more from North Carolina

You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..

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