Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings

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  (724): dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings http://tfl.nu/fi5x
  Replies (11) Good night (982) Bad night (4635)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.

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  (801): I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials. http://tfl.nu/rax4
  Replies (19) Good night (3430) Bad night (713)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me

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  (225): at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me http://tfl.nu/xox1
  Replies (23) Good night (814) Bad night (6016)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.

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  (201): Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one. http://tfl.nu/7onj
  Replies (36) Good night (7974) Bad night (843)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.

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  (314): who the fuck is that kid sitting with you... (1-314): I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out. http://tfl.nu/gjl6
  Replies (15) Good night (1141) Bad night (4770)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?

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  (315): I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here? http://tfl.nu/pgo7
  Replies (8) Good night (1097) Bad night (3070)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.

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  (409): The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out. http://tfl.nu/ni31
  Replies (6) Good night (844) Bad night (3623)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?

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  (425): Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy? http://tfl.nu/h26n
  Replies (10) Good night (1398) Bad night (708)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.

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  (917): Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator. http://tfl.nu/612t
  Replies (18) Good night (1513) Bad night (624)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?

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  (248): Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date? http://tfl.nu/49q5
  Replies (14) Good night (2562) Bad night (882)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great

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  (610): On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great http://tfl.nu/63wg
  Replies (6) Good night (1051) Bad night (547)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.

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  (970): Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die. http://tfl.nu/55zi
  Replies (4) Good night (728) Bad night (403)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.

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  (864): I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population. http://tfl.nu/aqkb
  Replies (3) Good night (485) Bad night (272)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.

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  (815): We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni. http://tfl.nu/pqm5
  Replies (5) Good night (1414) Bad night (335)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed

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  (313): I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed http://tfl.nu/x74n
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (381)

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