WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
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How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
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Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon