I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.