Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.

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  (352): Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want. http://tfl.nu/d61s
  Replies (36) Good night (4682) Bad night (810)
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  (714): View more from California

  you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night

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  (714): you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night http://tfl.nu/yh1g
  Replies (4) Good night (743) Bad night (4784)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.

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  (301): The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs. http://tfl.nu/e9u8
  Replies (28) Good night (3848) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?

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  (205): there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something? http://tfl.nu/tu2y
  Replies (12) Good night (6026) Bad night (1703)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.

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  (337): There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back. http://tfl.nu/dznq
  Replies (6) Good night (4676) Bad night (1263)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.

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  (619): im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull. http://tfl.nu/oak8
  Replies (9) Good night (4987) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"

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  (765): You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?" http://tfl.nu/g1nx
  Replies (21) Good night (1466) Bad night (4061)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that

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  (425): He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that http://tfl.nu/3z2y
  Replies (14) Good night (758) Bad night (2155)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  they paper machayed me.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.

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  (484): they paper machayed me. (215): i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers. http://tfl.nu/kseh
  Replies (5) Good night (3379) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.

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  (908): I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger. http://tfl.nu/tt9q
  Replies (9) Good night (1285) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  "The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"

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  (480): "The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!" http://tfl.nu/bdi6
  Replies (3) Good night (986) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I can't turn off my feet"

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  (419): I can't turn off my feet" http://tfl.nu/fr6o
  Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert

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  (203): I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert http://tfl.nu/7kxa
  Replies (2) Good night (454) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?

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  (330): What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed? http://tfl.nu/wlz7
  Replies (1) Good night (448) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"

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  (202): His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?" http://tfl.nu/rw07
  Replies (6) Good night (380) Bad night (618)

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