this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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