I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
