You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
