Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
if only i could text you this smell
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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