Its about making memories worth repressing
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
