Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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