is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
