I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
