I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
