Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
