Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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