Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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