everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
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this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
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We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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