I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
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I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
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Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life