she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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