His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I didn't notice because vodka
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
