I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
