if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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