No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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