he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
