so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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