the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
