I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
