Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
