you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
