yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
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He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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