guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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