69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
