glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize