my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
When did angry sex become our thing?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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