Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Randomize
