She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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