Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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