i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
