do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize