i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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