i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize