So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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