She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
