do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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