You really coming over, don't trick.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
