youre lurking in front of me
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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