he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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