Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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