they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
