I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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