you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
