He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My vagina is very pro this idea
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
