Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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