so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
