I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
