I just gift wrapped bread.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize