can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
As shirtless as possible
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
