Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
