I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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