It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
