I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
