Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
