I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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