just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you inspire me to be a worse person
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
