The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
