I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
